Up, Up and Up Some More

It seems that just this past Friday I had about 185 hits, as opposed to the 50 or 60 a day I usually get. I looked into it briefly and could find no clue as to what happened on Friday to warrant such a spike. I wondered if someone linked to me anew, or if someone was talking about me somewhere (although my ears weren't ringing, that I recall), but nothing.

I can only surmise that Friday is a particularly busy day for smut. Really, this makes perfect sense.

You've spent a busy, maybe draining, possibly boring, week at work. You come home knowing there's no alarm clock to disturb you the next day, so you have a drink, or a glass of wine. You read your e-mail, maybe play a game or two on Yahoo games and then find yourself wondering, "Hmmm...wonder if there's any new porn to get me off before I pass out."

One site leads to another and the next thing you know you're reading about a woman who's husband disciplines her for errant ways in the home. Or maybe you want to know what a woman really thinks about while she's masturbating.

Yes, Friday's are good nights for a little light reading. Whether it's your cock in your hand or your fingers sunk into the wetness of your cunt, I hope I helped you find some relaxation after a busy week.

Naked woman? Hand on rod?

Or both? Either way, our smirking, sadistic (and not in a good way), duplicitous VP is photographed smiling at something that millions speculated was a naked woman. Further investigation finds it's just a hand (his?) on a fishing rod.

I don't know why, but I suspect when presented with a naked woman, Cheney doesn't smile quite so broadly. I don't imagine he becomes almost gleeful in his regard of her. I picture him leering and chuckling in a "...oh the things I'm going to do to you..." sort of way.

Not pretty.

Anyway, a few folks have been wondering about my whereabouts and my well being and I appreciate the check-ins. My life just doesn't have a whole lot of time for blogging right now. I have, though, been trying to keep up with my regular reads and occasionally commenting. I want to keep in touch.

I suspect at some point I'll have both something to write about and the time to do it. It's just not now.

I am alive, though. Thanks for asking.

Hugs....

Vacation

I'm off on vacation tomorrow for a couple of weeks and am NOT bringing my laptop (I know - horrors!). I want this to be an actual vacation and bringing my machine would be counter to that goal. I'll have a chance to check my e-mail a bit but won't be posting anything.

So, my friends, stay warm, stay sexy.

I Missed It!

I can't believe it, but I missed my anniversary here! Too distracted.

On Febuary 2, 2007 I posted an introduction and my very first blog post here at Paradise Tied Up. It's been a full and changing year and much of it was recorded here.

The friends and acquaintances I've made through this blog, and others, have been invaluable. You've been honest and open and funny and complimentary. I appreciate every comment made and the dialogue we've had.

Thank you for sticking with me, for listening, and for helping me to continue to open and unfold and discover my sexual self.

Beating the Clock with Thanks

If I can muster the energy and creativity within the next 2 days, I can achieve the lauded goal of having posted 100 times in this blog since my very first entry back in February. (After this, I'll only need 1 more!) One hundred posts, some of little or no consequence, in less than a year. Impressive? I'd say not. Fun? Absolutely.

I've given myself the gift of expression these past 100 submissions. The gift of expression and release and exploration. I can only hope that in my effort to free myself I have, at the least, entertained you and, at the most, helped to inform you of something in yourself.

I've appreciated so much the acquaintances I've made through this blog and in this world of sexual deviance. I've appreciated our communication and your insights.

I look forward with excitement and trepidation, as always, to the year ahead and can only hope you continue to visit me and lend me your ears, for even a moment. Without your voices, this is just a journal. From the beginning, I've hoped it would be so much more. And it has.

"...everyone is a blogger and a reader! When you write a comment, you are blogging. It is as simple as that. When you read something and have any opinion of it, you are also blogging and reading. Blogging does not mean you have to open a blog and write for it. Blogging means to participate in any manner that promotes the very concept of blogging." - Reader Appreciation Project

** Some Statistics - I've only tracked statistics since March 28th, so the first month of posting is lost, but since 3/28 I've had over 14,000 hits to this blog (more than 23,000 page loads). Wow!

The Therapy that is Sex (not to be confused with Sex Therapy)

I couldn't decide if I should tell my therapist that I'd gone to a sex club. I wavered back and forth between telling her and discussing it (although in how much detail would be another question) or not telling her. In which case, what would I talk about? Since that's what's on my mind.

I still hadn't decided by the time I got to her office. We started with the usual chitchat and whatnot. And then I blurted out, "I don't know whether to tell you something or not." Well, clearly, I had made up my mind.

I realized that telling her or not telling her wasn't a decision I had trouble making because she was my therapist, but simply because it's a decision I'll make with everyone. There are people I'll tell easily, knowing they'll get a kick out of it and we'll have a fun conversation, and people whom I will never in a million years tell. And then some, like my therapist, with whom I'll be on the fence about sharing.

So, I told her in detail how it all came about, my going in the first place, and in not so much detail the events that transpired. She knows I engaged in sexual activity with the guy I went with and probably assumes I engaged in sexual activity with other people at the club. I alluded to that, without coming out and saying I sucked some guys cock while his girlfriend and his wife watched, etc.

My therapist is brilliant. And I don't mean that in an intellectual way. She is emotionally brilliant. Once I told her I knew it was right. She has no judgments about it. Or, about me. She knows I lean towards being submissive. We've discussed it and discussed some possible psychological reasons as to why I prefer to give up control. We have these conversations all without bias. And I would know. I don't care how good a therapist, or even actor, a person is, if there's a judgment, you can tell.

In this discussion I realized that I really liked going to a sex club. I look forward to going to more and other similar activities. I'm at a point in my life where I have a need to push my boundaries. To expand myself and my limits. And to share that expansion with like minded people. To surround myself with similar players. We are mirrors for one another and when in the company of people who reflect how you feel, it becomes an environment of growth.

Constant growth. Constant change. It really is what I strive for in my life. A week or so ago I was down. Very down. I go there sometimes. To that pit. Sometimes I can get myself out, sometimes I need help. But, it's not a place I'm unfamiliar with. I also know that if I never went there, if I never saw or experienced that dark side of myself, I would be stagnant. It compels me to change and to grow. You can't fall down without having to figure out how you're going to get yourself up.

Being sexually adventurous is new to me only in just this past year. It's new and exciting and a little scary. I'm excited to have found a new element. A new venue. A new adventure.

To Out or not to Out...Myself

The difference between insomnia and staying up late is, of course, intention. Staying up late is reading till you can't keep your eyes open, watching TV till you've had enough of the inanity, talking on the phone till you're literally too tired to flirt. Insomnia is turning the light off at midnight and, at 2 a.m., finding yourself awake enough to open your eyes and stare into the semi-darkness. Last night I was in a state of the latter.

And I thought, well, maybe I'll get up and write a bit. In my blog. But which one? I have another, you see, that I've not mentioned here before. It's a myspace blog, on my myspace page. Another thing I haven't mentioned here before. There's lots of things I haven't discussed here, and I'm beginning to find it increasingly difficult to keep my "two" lives...no not lives, personas?...separate. I wanted to write about insomnia and the chatter in my head and masturbation and maybe my family and, and, and...

And, therein lies the dilemma. In one blog (this one) I can discuss my thoughts and feelings up to a point. A very specific and identifying point. In my other blog (myspace) I can talk about more details of my life, but I wouldn't at all mention masturbating, or being really horny, or not being horny, or anything sexual except for vague inuendo. For the first time, last night, I found myself to be frustrated by this. I've discussed this here to some degree, merely questioning the two aspects of my life and how they may or may not overlap. At that point, I wasn't particularly frustrated or feeling the need to merge these two forums, just curious about them. That's changed.

I keep a journal (paper - be aghast!) and that's a place where much of these aspects of my life blend. But my journal is not a place where I take care and concern about the writing itself. The blog(s) are kept as a way to communicate, but also as a way to hone my writing skills. My grammer, my wit (I'm assuming something here), my insight, etc. Sharing it with you forces me to do that. And, there is the exhibitionist in me that's wants to expose myself, my sexual self, to you in a way that's satisfyingly literate.

So, what to do. Perhaps nothing. Maybe all I needed to do, at this point, was to talk this out. I'm very clear that there's a line I can't (read: won't) cross as far as identifying details of my life. It's a risk I won't take. As it is I worry that should I die suddenly, my journals (the paper one's) will be discovered. And read. There are simply things I'd rather my family and some of my closest friends didn't know about me. Details of my thoughts and desires that would, in a word, squig them out. But, that's another dilemma for me to contend with.

In the meantime, I stay anonymous (in this blog). It gives me the freedom to write out my desires and needs. And my frustrations in the detail that's necessary to excorcise them.

Now, about insomnia and masturbation...

The Difference Between Me and Me

Lately I've been thinking about the difference between my blog persona (Eve) and the "real" me. I've been wondering how much of a difference there is between these two characters, if you will. Everything I write, even the fiction, comes from the "real" me. What you're reading is written in my voice. I haven't made anything up or adopted any characteristics that might be attributed to Eve, but not to me.

But, there is a temptation.

It's appealing, the idea of creating a different character for myself. Acting on-line. Concoting someone with an entirely different life. Other experiences, new parents and family, fictional accounts of all kinds of sexual adventures that are not my own. It's an enticing thought, but it's not me, not here.

I haven't revealed much about myself here but what you do know is fact. The intimate and detailed experiences and fantasies recorded here are more than any person in my true life know about me. Except, perhaps, for a few lovers who I've let in on the secret and led them to this blog. They are the only ones (and, as I give it any thought, it is only one man) who can put a face and a body to the gyrations on the page. So, perhaps, there is only one person that sees the woman and the pseudonym as one.

So, I've been wondering if the blog persona and the non-blog persona, are different. And, I realize, they are not. What you read is the composite me, in so much as we are all composites of our experiences. Traveling through our lives like comets, picking up debris, both good and bad, and adding it to our selves. Amalgams of the worlds we inhabit.

A Me by any other name...

’Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself though, not a Montague.
What’s Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O! be some other name:
What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;

O! be some other name -

be Eve.

And the Search is On

As most bloggers do, I subscribe to one of those stat sites so that I can see who is reading my smut. I've been so impressed with the geographic range. From pretty much every state in the United States, most Western European countries, some Eastern European (the Republic of Moldova, for one), and much of Asia, Southeast and otherwise. It's exciting. Makes me feel a little international.

I also like to monitor the keyword activity. Meaning the search words people enter into say Google to find something of interest and my blog ends up in the results. Some of the search terms are pretty mundane, run-of-the-mill smutty or BDSM related. Others are downright hysterical. I thought I would list some of the more creative search terms used in which Paradise Tied Up was listed in the results. See for yourself. (I have, of course, added my own commentary.)

groped subway clit tied - I love the addition of subway here. The visual is great.
legs wide apart escorts - I figured this one is looking for an evening companion with particular skills.
mom tied up - Careful there, mom.
tied up dildo - Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?
in my cunt waiter - I think we all want to know what restaurant we're looking for here.
oversexed finger on legs - Sounds like this could develop into Carpal Tunnel.
circles eyes masturbating - I just don't get it.
things to do while being tied up - I love this. It just makes me think of someone looking for something to do when they're bored.
tied up whore - Run-of-the-mill, but I love it.
foot mouth tongue toes licked - What's that kids song? Head, shoulders, knees and toes.
watch me masturbate - They hit the nail on the head, with that one.
towel door touch my clit answer moan fantasy ocean husband read - An interesting grouping of words. How did I end up here?
masturbate paradise - Yes, indeed.
tentacle skirt orgasm - I figured out there are 2 posts that, concatenated, would add me to the results for this. I just want to know the thought process behind this one.
my cock is so hard now! - Well, come on over!

Whatever the search term, however odd or quirky or unexpected, I'm glad you found me. I hope something in here can do the trick, for you.


Note - If you've read this already, you'll see I added one (second from the bottom) that I somehow missed before. I couldn't pass up including it.

A Little Time Away

I'm going to be off-line through the middle of next week. A little vacation at the beach. Unfortunately, it looks like it's going to be a sex-free vacation. I'm saying sex-free instead of sexless. Trying to be positive (?) about it.

There could be a little something upon my return. I guess we'll just see.

In the meantime, Happy July 4th, all.

Rating the Blog

Using a link from another blog, I went to find out how my blog rates. Now, I already know what it rates. We all do. But I was curious anyway.




What cracked me up was this, though:

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

cock (9x) ass (4x) sex (3x) fuck (2x) slutty (1x)

The first 4 I get, but slutty? I mean, it's not a "nice" word, I suppose, but is it really a "dirty" word? And, do we think I've only said fuck twice in the last 5 months here? I think not.

Anyway, I'm not going to display this rating image permanently. I think it's ugly and will mar what I think is a rather attractive page. If someone under 17 wants to read this, you can bet your boots, they will.

If it's you - Go Away!

There...


fuck

Hot Links

My list of Feeds that Feed Me (this refers, by the way if you don't know, to RSS feeds) is getting longer. There is so much rich and juicy stuff out there, each time I come across a new blog that turns me on I get, well, excited. And not just hot and wet excited. Excited that there's a community of people who can communicate and support each other, even if it's "lurkers", in affirming their desires.

How many women want to submit, fully, to their husbands or boyfriends? How many husbands want to bind and gag their wives? How many couples secretly want from the other what they could actually give and not know it? Blogs such as these listed can possibly, if stumbled across, open up peoples lives and allow them to be who they really are.

Being in the closet sexually, no matter what the predilection, is the most stifling existence. If these words of advice or stories or fantasies or journals can help even one person free themselves, then they've served a noble purpose.

I know they've helped me greatly to be more in touch with my desires and my needs. For that, I thank them all.

So, check them out. You never know what you'll learn (about yourself).

New look

I've changed the look of the blog. This better suits my need for space and room. I don't like to be crowded. It also allows for more creativity, on my part. I got the basic layout from "Free Blogger Skins" and I thank them. I changed much of it to suit my own needs. It will be, over time, as tweaked and tugged and tuned as any lucky submissive. But, I am the Dom of this site. Here, I can make the rules and set the limits.

Hope you like it. Now, to continue with the good stuff...

Who is this anyway?

For all the non-readers of this blog who don't read it with any regularity (or at all) you may have noticed I changed my name. And, you may be wondering why. I'll tell you why.

When I started this blog only a month or so ago, I had an Oz theme going on. I'm not sure why. Something about the pot at the end of the rainbow being the elusive prize we're all after. I guess to me, in that moment, the pot represented the manifestation of all of my pent up sexual desires. So, I picked the name Dorothy to go with the theme. I didn't like it then and I don't like it now.

It also took me a while, and why it took me anytime at all is another story altogether, to realize that it's also my grandmothers name. That's just yucky.

I would actually like to not have any name. To just be a blog. But, they don't allow that, so I've been forced to plumb the depths of my psyche and creativity to try to come up with something clever. Because anything less than clever won't do (I have to balance out the banality of "Dorothy").

I wrote down a number of candidate names and they all were destined to remain candidates. Until I fell upon Eve in Chains. This time I'm going with an Eden theme. Eve was, of course, the first submissive. "...yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." - Genesis

I'm not sure that this is clever enough to counter the banality of Dorothy. It may actually just be on par. But, better that, I suppose, than feeling slightly dirty by using my grandmother's name.

I'd also like to mention, for all you non-readers, that the layout will probably change pretty soon, as well. This pink is really getting on my nerves and I find this layout to be too restrictive. So, be prepared.

Well, for now, I am Eve in Chains, but you can call me Eve for short. I'm not worried this will confuse anyone, but if it does, my apologies. And thanks for reading!

An experiment

I begin this blog with an explanation of the reason for it's creation. I have found in the last few months that I have an obsession. It's unexpected, somewhat disturbing, somewhat delightful. I find I'm thinking constantly, or nearly, about sex, all kinds of sex, but mostly some kind of sadistic or masochistic variety. I guess you could say I "switch", I like to be both dominant and submissive. Depending on, well, I don't know. On my mood, on my partner, on how bad I'm feeling (for instance, I'm feeling particularly bad about something I did to the man I'm currently seeing, so I've had fantasies of him punishing me - more on that later).

Primarily, this blog is meant as an outlet for me to write out my fantasies. To give them some room and to get them out of my head, where they currently take up a tremendous amount of space. But, I also want to add that I'm on a bit of an expedition. Testing my limits and experimenting with my boundaries and my desires. So, what's recorded here could be real, or not. Take it for what it is. The written word.

Why a blog and not just a personal journal? There is an element of exhibitionism, I admit. But keeping these thoughts, these stories, if you will, in my own personal journal where no-one will see them is really not much different from them living in my head, and thereby defeats the purpose. And, I suppose, I'm a little curious to know what people might think of them. If you end up here and like what you've read and have something to say about it, I welcome your comments.

Reader, you may do with them what you will. If you like them, feel free to co opt them, use them in whatever way you want. Act them out, masturbate to them, share them with friends/partners. Whatever. They excite me! If they excite you, make them your own.

This blog is a work in progress. Things will change. Appearance, content, maybe even subject matter. It's good to expect change. It's going to come whether it's welcome or not.

Well, we're off to see the wizard...