Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Radio Silence

It seems I'm finally adjusting to his being gone. It's still so silent. The phone doesn't ring as much, no texts. It's weird. I cried a lot, but not so much today.

Am starting, though, to think of how I would punish him if given the chance.

No talking. Go immediately to the bedroom upon walking in the door. Take off all your clothes and kneel at the end of the bed. No pillow under your knees, just bare on the rug. Now wait.

I'm having a glass of wine. I'm trying to calm down after all these days of silence and having to endure abandonment and betrayal. I'm smoking a cigarette and drinking my wine, gazing out the window at the city while you remain kneeling, quietly, patiently at the end of the bed.

After some time, 20 minutes or so, I get up and go to see what you're up to. I'm impressed with your obedience, but there will be no rewards today. No rewards for many days.

I get out the restraints and attach you to the bars at the end of the bed. I pull the straps as tightly as I can and I know it's a little uncomfortable. I get a rush as I see you wince. The degree to which I want to hurt you tonight is astonishing. You're going to suffer like you've never even imagined.

During our time apart, I bought a whip and took a class and have been practicing. It's a cat 'o nine. It's black and it's sharp. But, I don't want to start there. I start with the small flogger. A few light strokes, then a few more, then a little harder until you're grunting with a little bit of pain and I see that your cock is getting hard. You're semi-erect and while this excites me the only thing I want to do is smack it. Later...

I rest a bit, and drink a little wine and then pull out my new toy. I show it to you, "See what I bought while you were away?", I say sarcastically. "A new toy. And I didn't even know you were going to be able to help me break it in. How lucky!" With that I come behind you, and I see you brace yourself and you should. With a a little crack I give your back just the end, a little sting, not the full effect. But, you are affected. You cry out a bit and now your cock is hard. I give you another and another, each time a little harder. I stop and watch as your back turns red and the welts come out.

Now for your ass. Again, I start with just the tip, a little sting. A tingle. Until I can't hold back anymore and I am beating you like you never imagined possible. All the while telling you what a fucking son of a bitch asshole you are for even daring to leave me, for lying to me over and over, each stroke is for another lie and there were so many. Your cock betrays you, even though I know you're in tremendous pain.

Once I think I've covered every lie, and just before I think I will draw blood, I stop. I sit on the end of the bed in front of you and just watch as you try to catch your breath, tears streaming down your face, and as the real pain starts to sink in. You look up at me with scared, sorrowful eyes and for a moment I know why you deserve this. You wouldn't if I didn't feel this way about you. But, it's just a moment and then I remember and I'm up.

I undo the restraints and tell you to lie on your back on the bed. I know this will be painful and watch as you gingerly lay back. You're still semi-erect, but I want you hard. I kneel over you, just above your cock, my pussy dripping from the power and the anger, and begin to touch my clit, rubbing back and forth. I push one, then two fingers deep into my cunt. I watch your face as you watch me and see that even with your pain, you can't help but be aroused. And, again, your cock gives you away. You're now hard as a rock.

I move off of you, and kneel beside you, looking at your hard on, sticking up in the air. Listening to your breath, fast and excited. I raise my hand and as hard as I can I slap your cock. The look of surprise and fear that cross your face make me smile, and I slap it again, and again, and again. You are still very hard. You know you deserve this.

When I'm bored with this I straddle your face, I push my pussy down onto your mouth, forcing you to fuck me with your tongue, commanding you to suck on my clit and flick your tongue over it. I rock back and forth, over and over, until I explode, dripping into your mouth, gagging you with my juices.

I climb off of you. I stand at the end of the bed for a moment looking at you, hard, covered in my come, in pain, pathetic. I take my wine and leave the room.

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