Radio Silence

It seems I'm finally adjusting to his being gone. It's still so silent. The phone doesn't ring as much, no texts. It's weird. I cried a lot, but not so much today.

Am starting, though, to think of how I would punish him if given the chance.

No talking. Go immediately to the bedroom upon walking in the door. Take off all your clothes and kneel at the end of the bed. No pillow under your knees, just bare on the rug. Now wait.

I'm having a glass of wine. I'm trying to calm down after all these days of silence and having to endure abandonment and betrayal. I'm smoking a cigarette and drinking my wine, gazing out the window at the city while you remain kneeling, quietly, patiently at the end of the bed.

After some time, 20 minutes or so, I get up and go to see what you're up to. I'm impressed with your obedience, but there will be no rewards today. No rewards for many days.

I get out the restraints and attach you to the bars at the end of the bed. I pull the straps as tightly as I can and I know it's a little uncomfortable. I get a rush as I see you wince. The degree to which I want to hurt you tonight is astonishing. You're going to suffer like you've never even imagined.

During our time apart, I bought a whip and took a class and have been practicing. It's a cat 'o nine. It's black and it's sharp. But, I don't want to start there. I start with the small flogger. A few light strokes, then a few more, then a little harder until you're grunting with a little bit of pain and I see that your cock is getting hard. You're semi-erect and while this excites me the only thing I want to do is smack it. Later...

I rest a bit, and drink a little wine and then pull out my new toy. I show it to you, "See what I bought while you were away?", I say sarcastically. "A new toy. And I didn't even know you were going to be able to help me break it in. How lucky!" With that I come behind you, and I see you brace yourself and you should. With a a little crack I give your back just the end, a little sting, not the full effect. But, you are affected. You cry out a bit and now your cock is hard. I give you another and another, each time a little harder. I stop and watch as your back turns red and the welts come out.

Now for your ass. Again, I start with just the tip, a little sting. A tingle. Until I can't hold back anymore and I am beating you like you never imagined possible. All the while telling you what a fucking son of a bitch asshole you are for even daring to leave me, for lying to me over and over, each stroke is for another lie and there were so many. Your cock betrays you, even though I know you're in tremendous pain.

Once I think I've covered every lie, and just before I think I will draw blood, I stop. I sit on the end of the bed in front of you and just watch as you try to catch your breath, tears streaming down your face, and as the real pain starts to sink in. You look up at me with scared, sorrowful eyes and for a moment I know why you deserve this. You wouldn't if I didn't feel this way about you. But, it's just a moment and then I remember and I'm up.

I undo the restraints and tell you to lie on your back on the bed. I know this will be painful and watch as you gingerly lay back. You're still semi-erect, but I want you hard. I kneel over you, just above your cock, my pussy dripping from the power and the anger, and begin to touch my clit, rubbing back and forth. I push one, then two fingers deep into my cunt. I watch your face as you watch me and see that even with your pain, you can't help but be aroused. And, again, your cock gives you away. You're now hard as a rock.

I move off of you, and kneel beside you, looking at your hard on, sticking up in the air. Listening to your breath, fast and excited. I raise my hand and as hard as I can I slap your cock. The look of surprise and fear that cross your face make me smile, and I slap it again, and again, and again. You are still very hard. You know you deserve this.

When I'm bored with this I straddle your face, I push my pussy down onto your mouth, forcing you to fuck me with your tongue, commanding you to suck on my clit and flick your tongue over it. I rock back and forth, over and over, until I explode, dripping into your mouth, gagging you with my juices.

I climb off of you. I stand at the end of the bed for a moment looking at you, hard, covered in my come, in pain, pathetic. I take my wine and leave the room.

The punishment I deserve

I woke up at 1:00 a.m. and couldn't fall back asleep. I was ridden with guilt and anxiety over what had happened with him today. I made a stupid, stupid mistake. One only I could make with my ridiculous, impulsive behavior. I was afraid to lose him. I could only hope he would/could forgive me. Maybe a punishment could be considered a suitable atonement.

He is so angry that as he ties my hands together and attaches them to the headboard, he pulls the rope very tight, almost cutting into my skin. I cry out, only a bit. He looks at me and doesn't loosen them (but, he doesn't tighten them anymore, either). His look alone expresses his anger and I shrivel at his wrath (and worry about what's to come). I am on my belly with my hands now tied above me. He pulls my legs apart, opening me up, giving me no place to hide. He begins to wrap 1 rope around close to the top of my left thigh, over and over, many times, then pulls the end of the rope and ties it to the side of the bed. He does the same to the right thigh. I am helpless. My hands are tied, my legs spread apart, vulnerable, exposed. He doesn't gag me and I wonder why, but will soon find out.

He just stands by the side of the bed for a while looking at me. Looking at his work. Not making any adjustments, just taking it in. I turn my head to watch him looking at me and we make eye contact. Again, his eyes are on fire with anger. He moves closer to the bed and before I realize what's coming, his hand lands hard and strong on my left cheek, then on my right. Again, I cry out, but he seems not to notice. And then it begins. Over and over, in quick succession, one blow after another on each cheek. ...4, 5, 6... and then he stops. Again, viewing his work. The welts and redness that no doubt now cover my ass.

"Does it hurt?", he asks, somewhat sardonically. "Yes", I say. "Not enough, I'm sure", he answers. "The punishment you deserve is only just beginning, you understand. Each smack represents each moment I've had to endure since that incident this afternoon. When I'm done you will wish you had never called me. And you will never say anything like that again."

With that, he walks to the closet, and pulls out the switch. The long, flexible, stick he saves for "special" occasions. When we use it it's usually gently, but I know today I will not be that lucky. And I'm not. Again, without warning except the noise of the stick singing through the air, it lands squarely across both cheeks and this time I cry out loudly, and tears spring to my eyes. ...1,2,3...Tears are flowing down my cheeks, but I try not to make a sound, knowing I deserve every swat.

He puts down the switch and comes to the end of the bed and moves up to between my legs. Looking at my ass, looking at my pussy, which I know, despite myself, is wet. Dripping and swollen. He sees this and, despite how angry he is, I can tell he is pleased. He spreads me apart and gently puts his thumb on my clit and rubs. I moan with the pleasure of it, mixing with the burning of my ass. Quickly, he pushes his thumb into my cunt and fucks me hard and fast. And then stops. I moan from the loss of being filled.

And it begins again. Another round with his hand, another round with the switch, and again, he finger fucks me, this time harder, more forceful. I know he is still so angry. "Beg me. Beg me to beat you. Beg me to fuck you until you can't walk." And I do. "Please, hurt me, make me bleed and sting, I so deserve to be bruised and scarred."

Then he takes off his pants. I see that his cock is hard, huge, he's so turned-on from this punishment. He crawls between my legs and with no preamble plunges his cock deep into me and proceeds to fuck me hard, very, very hard. "Does it hurt?", he wants to know. "Yes." "Good." And he pushes even harder. "I punished you with my hand, with the switch and now I'm going to punish you with my cock."

He pounds away at me, all the while telling me what a bad girl I am, what a foolish, impulsive woman I am. How he wonders if it was on purpose so I can be given this severe punishment. Still sliding his enormous cock in and out of me.

"I'm going to come all over your red, sore ass. I'm going to cover your ass with my cream." He reaches up and grabs a handful of my hair and pulls it back, hard at the same time he pulls his cock out of my cunt and comes all over my ass. "Bitch", he moans from a place so deep, I know he means it. And I know I deserve it.