Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Hormonal Conundrum

It's hell, quite simply. Up and down, back and forth, never knowing what will be from one day (moment?) to the next. Last week this time I was writing and randy and ready for more. Today, I have to work a bit harder to feel any kind of twitch of excitement. I blame it on hormones.

Less sex drive. Hormonal fluctuations that occur during perimenopause are often the culprit behind the loss of interest in sex that is experienced by many perimenopausal women.

The literature on this varies from high to low. Most say it decreases, but I've seen a couple of discussions of an increase in sex drive. Well, I have both. How about that? It depends on what day it is.

Luckily, it's not gone entirely (been there, done that). I can still get the requisite reaction from watching a man stroke his cock. Or from remembering that night in the club with the man and his two women. It's there, usually, like a low grade fever. A little something just under the surface that, given the right elements, will emerge. Hot and ready. I think that's what makes the ebb and flow of the overall drive so frustrating.

Now, I do realize that everyone experiences highs and lows of sexual desire. It's not a constant, driving force (for most). This experience is a bit different, however. It doesn't feel like a normal, "I'm just not in the mood" fluctuation. It feels dramatic and severe and sudden. Like dropping off the side of a cliff.

I guess I'm writing about this because, after having read over the last few months of posts, I realized that I've recorded these swings here. The highs and the lows. And, instead of taking on the, "oh no, where has it gone?" attitude, I want to try to go with it. Know it's going to come and go and it's not the end of the world (or my sex life). And maybe I'm writing about this so that you, my readers and friends, can remind me when I start to adopt that ridiculous nihilistic attitude that it's temporary. It will pass. I will once again write my smut with passion and perseverance.

So, today, not so much smut.

Tomorrow, well, we just don't know.


HSWLOVER said...

Although you may not "be in the mood" at this, or any given time, you remain an incredibly erotic woman. We look forward to more adventures, and more smut.


Rupert said...

Ride it out, Eve. It will all work out in time. I'll still be reading when you write!

nitebyrd said...

No worries, Eve. It will come back, sometimes with a vengence. It'll also go away. Such is woman's life! But take it from one who knows, it always does come back.

Eve in Chains said...

Thank you all for your confidence and encouragment. These are strangely emotional and perplexing times. Sort of like adolescence in reverse.



SwitchMe said...

This is a VERY interesting thread.

Hormones are a big huge PITA on the one hand, and a source of infinite pleasure on the other hand!

One thing I would love to discover are sensible (not the New Age claptrap) approaches to how other things in our daily lives intersect and impact our internal hormonal flow. Food is first on my list of things I want to understand, Sooooo.... If you have ideas, I would love to see them!

(P.S. I followed you here from the PuckerUp forums....)