Sex has not been on my mind, of late. (And, by “of late” I mean the last few days.) I haven’t been pondering a pounding, as it were, by some gorgeous, well-hung, hunk of a 20-something. This image, as pretty as it may be, doesn’t make my blood quicken, my cunt clench and moisten, my breathing shallow.
This could be, I hesitate to say, hormonal. I’ve had a few “symptoms” that foretell an imminent hormonal change, and this could be one. I’ve prided myself on, so far, having retained my libido at a time when, I’m told, it could be on the wane. I haven’t lost my umpf, or my juice. I haven’t dried up. I’m a little nervous and wondering if this could be the beginning of such a thing. I try to perish that thought, but it arises and, frankly, that makes my blood quicken. With anxiety.
Can that sort of change happen so quickly? Almost overnight, or within such a short time? I'm thinking not. Considering just last week I had hot, hot phone sex with this fellow.
Perhaps I'm in a place where I want my sexual attentions to come from a partner, a lover, a boyfriend, a mate, or, dare I say, a husband. Someone who knows me intimately, not just because he wants to fuck me (or anybody), but because he wants to know me. His interest in me lies deeper than the depth of my pussy. When the ropes are untied and the toys are put away, we can lie together in confidence and silence.
In fact, I've felt that for some time now. Tiring of disconnected, unapologetic sex with nearly anonymous men, I long for someone who knows me. But, I've thought, I don't need to be chaste while I'm waiting. I can have a little fun in the mean time. I'm wondering if that isn't what's making the search more difficult. If somehow I'm imbued with an aura of the nonchalant connection.
Whatever the case, or the reason, I'm far from horny right now.
So, please accept this post by way of an apology. I am remiss in causing your blackberry screen to steam up as you feverishly scroll down to the finale of something sordid and dirty dreamt up, or lived, by yours truly.
I have no doubt my libido will come around again. And probably not too long from now. And I assure you, I won't leave you out of the proceedings.
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4 comments:
I, for one, don't find your ennui surprising. I have certainly gone through periods of lust and periods of not much of anything. I have never been capable of fucking anonymously, always wanted to fuck a person, not a pussy only.
but I do love to hear about your pussy clenching, when it does.......
hugs
e
I think i know where you are coming from and i reckon your annalysis is right. Sometimes sex overwhelmes me but occasionally i long just to be me with the person who knows me best, my husband. Take care x
I'm sure it's cyclical, Eve. I've been on a horn-ball tear for about a week now, in a constant state of just thinking about sex. And with a non-cooperative wife, not much going to be happening to resolve it, either.
You'll find that thing to get your juices flowing again, sometime soon.
Thank you all. I'm sure it will come around again. It just makes me a little nervous. And, it's been on my mind, so, of course, I wrote about it. And, I am sick of the anonymous and am ready, more than ready, for something real.
Eve
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